Emotions

Ask to Receive

23 Jan , 2015  

Did you feel a little awkward when Saina Nahiwal (yes, our badminton superstar) recently demanded a Padma Bhushan nomination? I thought when you play at the highest level and continue to win, awards would naturally come your way. But looks like it works by way of ultimatum.

On her demand she now has been recommended for the same. I’m sure many people in the country who are in reckoning of these awards too should have aired their aspirations to be considered for the same! Do you feel unsettled when you see others in your organization always getting what they want just because they were bold enough to ask while you are left with nothing because you didn’t?

Let us explore this:

Why do you fail to receive?

  1. Your personality (shy and quiet types?);
  2. You failed to attract the attention of your bosses and HR either positively or negatively;
  3. You’re not an apple-polisher (Matalab’ You never wish your boss’s on their spouse’s birthdays or buy them gifts or drinks/ lunch);
  4. You’re way too humble and don’t know how to trumpet your successes to colleagues;
  5. Your “sense of dressing and style”.

Now let’s see why those who ask get what they ask for:

  1. Cry babies are the first to get milk!
  2. Those who ask, ask repeatedly and to those they know have the power to fulfil their wishes;
  3. Bosses caving in to requests they agreed to during some weak moments;
  4. People who are influencers (HR and supervisors) don’t know how to manage those who “insist incessantly”;
  5. Those who ask constantly have their ears to the ground hence have information about those who got want they wanted by merit of asking (NOT necessarily deserving!);
  6. These opportunists constantly nag their supervisors that the market offers better (in terms of salary percentage; titles, roles, bonuses, and more).

I believe that in any organizational setting, ‘asking’ (or in some cases, ‘demanding’) is important to get you what you want and to where you want to go. In fact, in such scenarios, I have benefited quite handsomely 🙂 However, I’ve also come to notice that meritocracy driven organizations too fall prey to this as organizations are made up of people and people are vulnerable to emotions.When I first got promoted as manager, I had a week’s training with a group of excellent trainers. I received quite a bit of feedback but one of the feedback’s stood out (like a sore thumb!). The training head of the program said that my “self-projection” qualities were excellent.

At first, I took offence but he clarified that it was a positive trait. He went on to say that I spoke of my achievements in a sophisticated manner and at the right time, both of which worked in my favor! Through this feedback, he succinctly encouraged my thought process to always project myself every time I felt like the time was right. Unfortunately, over a period of time, I grew to become confident of this trait that turned me into a “demanding’ monster”!I shamelessly asked for promotions, titles, money, locations, bosses (yes, even bosses!). Thankfully, age and of course some solid bashing from a few of my hard-hitting bosses, put the “monster” to sleep. To cut a long story short, I’ve become more “manageable” with time and age 🙂

The setting within organizations by and large are unique; very unlike home setting where you are surrounded by people who are emotionally bound to your needs/ wants  to anticipate and fulfil your wishes many a times without asking. So maybe someone who asks and refrain from being shy of “I” might sound unpleasant to others but in return, the “I” might give you the returns you seek depending on the culture of your organization.

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My daughter was in the office recently and she “asked” for some ten things including an ice cream which she got but never finished. Now she knows that she will get the ice cream  the “next time” too as her dad needs to get to his next meeting and doesn’t want her to distract him or others in office. She, I’m sure, will continue to ask! So, don’t hold back. Asking is good for you hence master the art!


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