Yes, the title was to get your attention, but you will agree with me after a few minutes.
Many of us publicly admit that we join new employers in search of good supervisors, work harder in our organisations when we like our bosses, leave companies becoz of bosses; Today I am deliberately leaving out obvious things like role, money, Brand, organisation culture which are other important variables in joining, staying and quitting jobs. Let’s get back to the bosses now,
If you are asked what kinds of bosses you like, would the obvious answers sound like
The list can go on depending on what you have experienced or aspiring for. Not many of us can choose our boss, but I am sure we all have the rights to comment, judge, criticize them in our circle of influence, so today is one such exercise of commenting on ‘one’ type of leader.
How many of you have you ever worked for a leader who is a narcissist? Some of you who have worked with me please lower your hands if you have raised it! And for the rest, do I see many of you nodding your head in approval? I know we don’t need to rush to Wikipedia for the definition of a narcissist, a trait which all of us recognize as we see some of it in the mirror daily 🙂 that can be called healthy narcissism? Now my next question, would you like to work for a narcissist boss? Did you say never? think about it again, I think you should work for one, not because I want you to learn on ‘how not to be a Narcissist’ but for the benefits you get working for one. Now don’t frown again, I’m not playing mind games here.
Look at the traits of a Narcissist, they are
So, tell me if these are the traits of a Narcissist, why wouldn’t you want to work for one, or if you could tick against all these qualities for yourself ‘feel’ proud to be a narcissist. At least you can be honest to yourself, Am I playing with the term and a few qualifying parameters to support them, yes, but I know you are smart enough to get the drift!
Narcissism is a thriving trait in leadership, some of us develop it after we reach leadership positions, some of us are born with it. I think it’s an essential trait to have or cultivate as leadership is a tough act; people throw a lot of muck at you, you are always under pressure, you need to be positive even when the boat is sinking, you must feel better than others for you to negotiate out of difficult situations.
But, some of these traits that protect are also the ones that can go against you depending on where you demonstrate them. It’s difficult to have them and also to contain them as they are part of you, knowingly or unknowingly narcissistic qualities raise their head even without you realizing them. That’s the reason the ‘gurus’ talk about self-awareness as the best trait for leaders and mindfulness for being at every moment to be in touch with the situation. But today I am not here to discuss about how to deal with Narcissism. In fact, I love them 🙂
On retrospect, I think I loved working with tons of Narcissist leaders. I say this as they loved to be ‘one’ and allowed people like me to gain in the process. I presumed that due to their over indulgence with themselves they did not find it unusual if ‘we’ turned out into similar zones with our team. I remember when we were making business losses some of my bosses would ask us to fly business class with them when we took the same flight. Some others would book five star hotels for us as they wanted to avail the same luxury. Otherwise we had travel and stay in ‘budget’ when they weren’t with us 🙂
In one of my stints we started to move into new offices in rented buildings, my boss used to insist that we have nice metal name plate which had his name itched in it. He used to get great kicks unveiling those boards during office inaugurations, we were in an organisation where leaders were almost churned every 2 years, so we had to remove those boards before the next leader came. Grr! Before, I could get my own name-plates itched I left too 🙂
Now, let’s not get holier than thou about others, if you want to be a leader you need to get comfortable with certain Narcissist qualities, just that we use certain polished corporate terms to describe them. If you sum them all up it would come to one term!
If you are too good to acquire them or display them, then get comfortable working for people who have them. Period.
As always, now to the narcissist part of my post, and my favourite part….
Narcissist and me? Never!
If you’ve enjoyed reading this post, Feel free to comment for me to reflect on your ‘narcissist’ views
Many moons ago I wrote this post about “who is your favourite boss” contradiction?